Pillows, Vienna Sausages and Panda Paws

So, I have chubby hands, I’ll admit it. And over the years I’ve endured much scrutiny over the size of my fluffy little hands and fingers. People have even gone so far as to give them nicknames. I’m still hoping it’s baby fat that will fall off one day before I’m blessed with actual baby weight. Sometimes on a hot, humid College Station summer day it’s hard enough to squeeze rings past my knuckles, I can’t imagine what it’d be like if I was swollen with baby weight. That’s certainly something to look forward to.

Senior year of high school, desperate to avoid taking a physics class and kidding myself thinking I had become a science badass overnight, I signed up for AP chemistry. The best thing AP chemistry gifted me was the friendship of a hilarious, closeted gay. He soon became a staple in my small circle of close friends, and he loved my hands. He called them pillows. I often give little love taps on the face when someone says something ‘offensive’ and I pretend to slap them. When I’d do it to him he’d yell out, “Pillow fight!” in the middle of class or "Ooh, do it again. That felt good." During a particularly boring lecture he would even reach over, take my hand and pretend to nap on it to pass the time.

About six months after we started dating my first serious boyfriend gifted me a ring for my 20^th birthday. We of course had to have it sized - to a 10 ½ - for it to fit my ring finger. It had three tanzanite stones and several microscopic diamonds in a gorgeous vintage pattern. It was the first piece of jewelry I’d received from a guy, and I loved it. A family member once told me, “If y’all break up you better keep that ring, you’ve earned it!” And I did. After picking up the ring from the jeweler and trying it on, my then-boyfriend informed me that my finger looked like a Vienna sausage with a zip tie on it. Happy Birthday to me.

Kevin is a former high school and college football player, and I love his broad shoulders and 6’2 stature. He lets me know each time he gets in to drive the Moostang that, “a midget was just driving your car!” Then he promptly moves the seat back to make room for his legs. He makes me feel small. Well except for my feet. He was actually quite disturbed when I grabbed his flip flops one day to run out to the car and they only looked two sizes too big on me. “That’s just wrong,” he told me. While out driving a couple of weeks ago in the Moostang Kevin and I were being silly and we shook hands – probably on a bet. (You know I’m never wrong so I try to milk it for all it’s worth.) He laughed and took my hand again. “I never realized how small your hands are. They’re like panda paws.” (Panda – a nickname since freshman year of college. More insights on this in a future entry)

In an effort to try to disguise my pillows, I mean… Vienna sausages, I mean… panda paws, I wear rings. So here is my ring collection/disguises. (left to right)

My class/Aggie ring (gold): $300+;
Our class rings hold particular significance for Aggies. Learn more about Aggie rings.

White gold, tanzanite and diamond ring: Zales Outlet $100-ish (gift from ex boyfriend)

Silver and boulder opal: $110; one-of-a-kind design from Earth Art in Bryan, Texas.

Green, blingin' stretch ring: $12 Lane Bryant Outlet.

Silver and blue stone: $45 Cozumel, Mexico.