Like a Rhino

This weekend during a quick Subway lunch, Kevin informed his mother that when he came to bed the night before I was “sleeping like a walrus.” If you’re wondering what that means – and I certainly was – I was sleeping on my stomach with my arms by my side and palms up. I can’t imagine I’ve ever fallen asleep like that before.

So after that I started to realize just how often I get compared to animals. I wonder if that’s bad…

Senior year of high school my friends were avid “South Park” fans, and after the season three episode “Sexual Harassment Panda” we adopted the phrase “I’m a sad panda.” Soon we were happy pandas and angry pandas and just plain content pandas.

After an embarrassing slip with my roommates early freshman year of college where I referred to myself as a ‘sad panda’ I was nicknamed Panda for good. Clearly this nickname still has influence since my hands are now referred to as panda paws (see entry “Pillows, Panda Paws and Vienna Sausages”) and if my mascara is running Kevin will tell me I look like a panda.

And finally, a rhino. I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend from college’s wedding this past spring. The bride’s maid of honor/sister lives in D.C., so I offered to help the best man/the groom’s brother with the planning of the joint bachelor bachelorette party in Austin. Another bridesmaid offered to help, but we ended up having some differences of opinion. To make a long story short, she hated my guts by the time we got to Austin for the party about two weeks later. We were mature and tried to play nice, I didn’t single her out or treat her badly – this was about our totally adorable friends getting married! Three hours in and wandering 6^th Street, the bride was three sheets to the wind. After the groom left the bar with the bride to head back to the hotel, the other bridesmaid walked right up to me in the group, said some choice words and threw her drink in my face.

1…2…3…4… I clenched my fists by my sides telling myself, “I will not go to jail tonight.” Her boyfriend ushered her out of the bar, and the rest of us tried to laugh it off and have a good time. She later told the bride that I ‘charged’ her and that’s why she threw the drink in my face.

I called my sister the next day to relay stories from the weekend and told her about ‘charging’ the other bridesmaid. “Charged?” my sister asked. “Charged,” I repeated. “Like a rhino.”

So in tribute to my animal friends I’ve compiled some of my favorite animal print and animal-inspired pieces to share with you. What’s your favorite animal print or -inspired piece?

Bird necklace, Etsy $25; Headband, Etsy $15; Swimsuit, Old Navy clearance $30 regular $50; Owl Top, Torrid $44; Shoes, L.A.M.B $325; Animal print chemise, Lane Bryant $36.50